today's thoughts...dec9.09

never make someone a priority, when to them, you are only an option...be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind...for some strange reason, you're always on my mind...i get this strange feeling of happiness when you do finally talk to me...i smile everytime i see your picture...would you believe that...a picture can get me feeling like that...i knew from the moment i saw you and talked to you, there was something different about you...i love that smile of yours...i don't know to do anymore...my head is telling me to let go, but my heart is telling me that you're the right one...that smile, how you look cute with them glasses on, how you talk, laugh...i can't get those things out of my head...and yet, i don't know if you do feel anything at all...people are telling me to let it go, but i can't...you're the only person i have ever met who has the qualities i look for...you surpass all those and more...i think i'm falling in love with you, and i can't even tell you that...and that's what hurts me more than anything...i don't even know how to tell someone that, more i don't know how to say that to YOU...i'm falling in love with someone who i don't know feels something towards me...and that's a depressing thought...its 1.55 am, december 9, 2009...

yesterday's thoughts...dec8.09

how the hell do you tell the person you love that you love them when you don't know how to say it to them?...do i love her?...i don't know...but what i do know is that i like her...a lot...but how do i tell that to her when she herself shows no interest...how is it that so many people are happy but i can't...i haven't felt like this in a long time...she's always on my mind for some reason...running circles through it...and i don't mind...i actually enjoy it...but what hurts me is not having the guts to say how i really feel because I can't handle rejection again...i'm tired of it...every time i open my heart up to somebody and finally build up the courage to tell them, guess what follows...rejection...its 3.07 am, december 8, 2009...